How important am I?

So, I have recently changed jobs and at the new place, I am still in training phase, learning the ropes, figuring things out etc etc. I have been given some deliverables but nothing too big. At my previous job, I had lot of responsibility, accountability for various things, reporting status, raising flags, what not. I have been feeling uneasy and uncomfortable but not able to put my finger on it. At first I thought it is because of new environment and the fact that I need to learn a whole lot of things etc, but that was not it. It came up one day (don't remember if it was during sitting) - I am feeling uneasy because I am not important enough at my new place yet!!! There it was - my ego swelled up and high, a little hurt for having realized this and kind of lost. Every time, I think I understand my mind, I come across something like this and I am totally taken aback. I guess the good part is that this stayed at the level of thought, got acknowledgement and I moved on. May be if I was not used to slowing down my mind every so often, this would have bothered me more..who knows..it is a perspective after all..none the less, it is interesting to see how ego tries to reinforce itself every chance it gets..:)

Why meditate?

Hmmm...so what is the big deal with meditation? Why meditate? To me personally, everything comes down to as to how it affects the bottom line - meaning how does it make my life more peaceful and myself a better person? If the end affect is not leading to this, effort or belief is not worth it, but that's just me.

There is a notion out there that meditation is synonymous to relaxation and it is not entirely wrong. The first and immediate effect is indeed a relaxed mind, at least for the duration of meditation. You might even fall asleep easily if you are tired and trying to meditate, has happened to me more than once..:) A relaxed mind is able to think better and perform well thought out action. However, meditation has the ability to take you one step further than this. Once one can get the mind to relax and slow down the speed at which it has been racing, one can observe the working of mind - see how thoughts arise and fall away, perceptions arise and fall away and similarly reactions. Seeing this enables one to understand the most mysterious creation - oneself!