Equanimity

Equanimity - they say that it is the ultimate goal to be reached. We are programmed to feel happy if we get what we want and sad if we don't get what we want or if we lose what we want. This is our natural programming, so how can we attain equanimity!!! Should we even attempt to? Is that not like the lion trying to become vegan? I do not have the mental make up to be able to follow teachings, and I am not ashamed to admit it. I have to know why the teaching is a certain way. So, there was a long time that this whole equanimity theory did not make any sense to me. Lately, there has been an understanding - equanimity can come only if I know that my responses are programmed responses and they depend on conditions. There is no self that can control responses here. If responses are empty, why get attached to them? Mind you, it is very easy to write this and extremely difficult to put in practice, but I think this is helping me a lot to grasp equanimity.

Trust Factor through Zen Practice

So, I like to plan and execute on the plan...if things don't go according to my plan, I get upset and I try hard to bring the plan back on track. My mind is conditioned to believe that it can achieve anything as long as it tried hard enough. If it did not get something, it is because it did not try hard enough. Zen has enabled me to see that if I don't get something, first of all - most of the time, it is for my own good and secondly, there are factors other than my own effort that need to come together for any event to happen. My effort is important and required, but is not the sole controlling factor. This was liberating for me, not that it made me utterly peaceful, but it allowed me to relax and let go, at-least once in a while, if not all the time. I did not have the concept of trust - that whatever is happening, is usually for the best and that every one and everything is being taken care of. Sitting on the cushion has enabled me to see that as well.